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Hogwarts School of Software Engineering
Summary: After Voldemort crashed the entire British economy, Hogwarts has a new mission.
April 1, 2013
In response to the total collapse of the British economy after last week's exploitation of security holes in every electronic product on the market by Lord Voldemort, headmaster Severus Snape announced the renaming of Hogwarts to Hogwarts School of Software Engineering.
I'll present my Better Firmware Faster seminar in Melbourne, Australia February 20. All are invited. More info here.
Hogwarts will continue to recruit eleven-year-olds with magical skills, but now the course material will contain rigorous instruction in highly-disciplined firmware engineering. Coursework will change to reflect this new focus. For instance, Defense Against the Dark Arts will now feature in-depth training in IPsec, deep packet inspection, and thwarting DDoS attacks.
But the school will be about much more than security.
"We're facing a software crisis," Snape muttered, "the need for software far outstrips the industry's ability to create it. The only possible solution is magic."
In the Transfiguration class young magicians will focus on refactoring legacy code from the creaky disaster of technical debt into robust, bug-free maintainable software by using their wands to issue the correct spells
Study of Ancient Runes will expose students to the cryptic languages of yore that are still found in many systems, like Perl, APL and Lisp. The Potions class will cover design patterns, and Charms will show students how to consign crummy code forever to the Chamber of Secrets. Snape concluded with: "When the first class graduates from the revamped Hogwarts we expect that no muggle will ever again be allowed to contend with the mysteries of software engineering."
Published March 18, 2013